Yitz aka Isaac Wasileski ([info]agnoster) wrote,
@ 2005-05-19 13:08:00
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Current music:Grasshopper Takeover - Forever Young

Strange dream.
It's been clinically shown that there is nothing in the world quite so boring as having to listen to someone else's dream. They tend to involve things like "So then, he turned to me, but he wasn't really him, but he WAS, you see?" And then you have to nod, pretending that this raving lunatic is making sense. And then you have a dream, and realize you're just as crazy.

So, it all starts with the aliens. And what do aliens do? They do mind control. For some reason, there's a specific set of words they use that triggers an override mode in the human brain, to make us do their bidding. They'll abduct someone, put an implant in their head, and then they're set to go - it's all very "Manchurian Candidate" (the new one, haven't seen the old one). The thing is, they're doing it primarily to women, who, like Eve, in turn try to get their men to be mind-controlled, too. Now, the key here is that their motivation for getting their men under alien mind control is not that their overlords are asking them to - it's that they're lonely, and afraid, and they want someone to share their enslavement.

When I woke up, it was pretty obvious what my subconscious was trying to say. It's pretty sexist, I guess, primarily because, for me, the most staggering examples of willful insecurity tend to come from the female gender. Blast me if you must, I might deserve it - but doesn't it strike you as odd how gleefully women take to playing the game society imposes on them? "I *like* shaving my legs." - "It's healthier to be skinny." - "Makeup makes me feel pretty." - Well, of course, it's what moves products. There's no depths to which the system will not sink in order to transfer your money into their pockets. One particularly good way to do it is to make you insecure enough to feel you *need* these things to feel better. Men aren't significantly different - we need a good job (so we have more spending cash), a fast car, nifty gadgets, a big house, whatever. And certainly, men can be just as twisted by commercial manipulation as women, but for the most part, the system is working more in men's favor. There's an imbalance. A fat, bearded guy who lives on the internet can be quite a catch, but women with the slightest imperfections are immediately considered undesirable. It's just downright disgusting.

So, the whole alien thing. Don't you want someone to share your insecurity, your weakness, your fear? Maybe. But if you ask me, life's too short for insecurity. It's too short to worry. It's too short not to love the one you're with, too short not to be with the one you love. It's entirely too short to waste a breath on a word you don't mean. Life's too short for malice, and it's too short for hate and fear. Life is too goddamn short to do what's convenient rather than what's right. And life is altogether too short not to believe that you can move the world, and spend every minute looking for where to stand.




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[info]joaniechachi
2005-05-19 07:07 pm UTC (link)
doesn't it strike you as odd how gleefully women take to playing the game society imposes on them? "I *like* shaving my legs." - "It's healthier to be skinny." - "Makeup makes me feel pretty."

Gleefully? I don't know about that. Then again, everything I'm about to say comes filtered through my own world, which is heavily imbalanced in favor of quirky people, so I don't know how much I can reflect (on) the average woman.

That said, I don't know a lot of women who actually like the act of shaving their legs. The result of smooth legs is nice (smooth skin is an appealing texture and I know of no one who would deny it), but plenty of women I know forgo that in favor of saving time, and sometimes for months at a stretch. They just wear pants all the time. And why do they wear pants? Because of the enormous societal pressure to conform to a physical standard.

There is a vast amount of pressure and it cannot be ignored. I didn't shave my legs until years after most of my peers started because it seemed like a waste of time and effort, but I knew that I would be ridiculed if my unshaven legs ever saw the light of day. I remember moments of paranoia in junior high as I heard other girls getting mocked for the same social crime I was committing. The thing that put me over the edge was a production of Guys & Dolls for which I had to wear fishnet stockings and a leotard. I couldn't stand the thought of my peer group mocking my hairy legs, so I gave in. I wasn't willfully insecure, as you put it; I was forcibly insecure. The fear of a peer group is a natural and powerful thing.

There are a lot of things that contribute to insecurity, and they are by no means exclusively on the women's side of the equation. "Attractive" men's clothing, for instance, conceals the body much more than "attractive" women's clothing does, and I don't mean low-necked shirts. The cut of attractive women's clothing is tighter than men's, so a man can have some imperfections go unnoticed while the same issue with a woman's body would be accentuated. If women feel they "need" to be skinny or wear make-up or remove their body hair, it's a feeling perpetuated by society as a whole, and you can't mark it down to women willingly accepting insecurities.

So I don't see it as odd, because I don't see any glee in the process. After a long period of conformity, a lasting adaptation is made. I taught myself how to be happy in the face things I can't control, and while I personally don't apply it to the pigeon-holing of women, it's more or less what has happened to most of the women who you see "enjoying" what we're re-labeling as the tools of their oppression.

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[info]agnoster
2005-05-19 07:38 pm UTC (link)
smooth skin is an appealing texture and I know of no one who would deny it
On this one particular count, I have to disagree. Smooth skin is so... plasticy. Unnatural and kind of scary. But then, I feel the same way about piercings. Maybe I'm the odd one out here.

But still, what you're talking about it bowing to social pressure. Which is fine, as long as you also admit that social pressure is responsible for racism, xenophobia, all kinds of chauvanism, really. You don't have to do things just because society says so. Bowing to social pressure isn't uncommon, and it's not my argument. I'm simply saying it's terrible precisely because it's so prevalent and accepted. Of course, social pressure is accepted by definition.

Yes, the female beauty ideal and its injustice are perpetuated by society as a whole, but women seem to take a leading role in this. I mean, I always imagined that Vogue and Cosmo and all these other magazines are run by women, although I could certainly imagine a shadowy board of men thinking of new ways to put women in their place. What if women didn't put up with it anymore? It would be over. Sure, it has to start somewhere, but nobody wants to be the odd person out. And I can understand that. It's uncomfortable to stand up for being different, and probably always will be. My main point isn't really the male/female dichotomy in the equation, but that we're all subject to the same system, and we all seem to take our obedience for granted. I think that, as a whole, our male-dominated society has just done a better job conditioning women, but it's done a pretty good job with everyone.

Also, I'm not saying I'm free of this conditioning. It's just that I'm sick of it, and I'm trying consciously not to be a part of it.

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[info]maivhlaupaj
2005-05-20 02:04 am UTC (link)
I think the gleefulness makes perfect sense - women aren't total dupes, they aren't going to buy into social rituals that have no payoff for them. Or, they are less likely to. So it is quite unsurprising that women find pleasure in makeup (which is, after all, shiny and colorful and can be fun to play with) and in leg shaving (smoothness, although this one makes less sense) and in skinniness (well, I don't understand this actually). Okay, my point is rapidly falling apart but basically I'm saying don't assume they are not getting anything out of it, even if it is just the satisfaction of being momentarily acceptable by some absurd standard.

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too goddamn short
[info]annabananaface
2005-05-19 07:40 pm UTC (link)
Life is too goddamn short. So I choose my battles. Yes, shaving my legs takes time, and high heels hurt my feet. I minimize the time spent wearing high heels, but I do it whenever I have to dress up. I shave my legs, though with pracitce I've gotten pretty fast at it. Society also doesn't seem to think that I should be a mathematician, or have children without torpeoing my career by taking years off in a field where even a singe year off can mean you never quite get back to where you were. These are the battles I choose to fight (well, maybe I'll wait a little bit for the second of those battles). Following the social conventions that are of reasonably little consequence to my life allows me to fight the ones that are truely discriminatory and repressive to my existance. I would not be as effective at that fight if I refused to conform to other conventions.

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Re: too goddamn short
[info]agnoster
2005-05-19 08:16 pm UTC (link)
No, I totally agree. I'm more upset by the general culture of insecurity that abounds. Sometimes it is necessary to compromise to subvert the system - or so they tell me. I'm not entirely sure it's true, and could also follow the argument that one must always remain true to principles: carrying out a revolution for peace and equality by spilling blood, for instance, tends not to work out. Those who try to subvert the system from the inside, more often than not, end up part of the system. But those who pull it off can make great strides forward.

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[info]peutvoile
2005-05-19 11:11 pm UTC (link)
Yitz, that was in fact a worthwhile dream to tell. I only tell the worthwhile ones, myself. The real question is, was it a lucid dream? and have you had those? because they are fucking awexsome. SO much so there's an X in it.

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