Yitz aka Isaac Wasileski (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} agnoster) wrote,@ 2005-08-22 08:47:00 |
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Violence: The RPG!
http://www.boingboing.net/2005/08/20/vi
An RPG that satirizes excessive violence. Funny stuff. Here are some choice quotes from the manual:
Indeed, you yourself are a monster: a monster in the true sense, not the ‘fantasy’ one. You are a degraded, bloodthirsty savage, the product of the savage streets, a Jeffrey Dahmer, a droog, a character out of Brett Easton Ellis. You delight in pain and blood and mayhem. You won’t live long, I promise you, but you’ll leave a trail of mangled corpses in your wake.
Choose a gender. In reality, scum like you are almost always male, but go ahead, play a female character. One with big boobs, no doubt. Female characters popular among male players almost always have big boobs. If you don’t believe me, play Tomb Raider. Or Trespasser; have you looked at that one? Your life meter is a tattoo on your left tit, to check to see how close you are to dying you have to look down at your cleavage. Talk about puerile, degrading game design.... But I digress. We’re embracing puerile, degrading game design.
+3 if you agree that you must speak in a falsetto, with a lisp, or in some other embarrassing fashion while playing ViolenceTM, so long as you continue playing this character. Or how about this one: You agree to maintain a ratio between non-obscenities and obscenities of no less than three to one, that is, one out of every three words used while speaking as your character must be an obscenity . Like “Fuck you, you fucking pussy-whipped shithead” The use of an obscenity as an infix transforms the modified word into an obscenity for the purpose of this rule, e.g., “in-fuckin-credible” is treated as an obscenity.
[When calculating police harassment likelihood:] +1 per black or Hispanic character (who are inherently likelier to be fucked with because, well, welcome to America)
[Basic skills section:] Driving: If you’re feeling generous and the campaign is set somewhere other than New York or Boston, that is, in a city where cars are necessary for survival, you could give them this skill at a reasonable level (say 10) for free. In a civilized city with reasonable public transport, they’ll have to use some of their initial skill points, because you can get along just fine without a car. And don’t make them make skill rolls for normal, everyday driving. Any idiot can stop at a red light (although knowing our PCs, they probably won’t). [I just like the "civilized city" comment.]
Yeah, it cracks me up... the sad thing is, I could see myself playing this game, just as a joke. Although it might be fun to do some real gaming someday... (sigh)
http://www.boingboing.net/2005/08/20/vi
An RPG that satirizes excessive violence. Funny stuff. Here are some choice quotes from the manual:
Indeed, you yourself are a monster: a monster in the true sense, not the ‘fantasy’ one. You are a degraded, bloodthirsty savage, the product of the savage streets, a Jeffrey Dahmer, a droog, a character out of Brett Easton Ellis. You delight in pain and blood and mayhem. You won’t live long, I promise you, but you’ll leave a trail of mangled corpses in your wake.
Choose a gender. In reality, scum like you are almost always male, but go ahead, play a female character. One with big boobs, no doubt. Female characters popular among male players almost always have big boobs. If you don’t believe me, play Tomb Raider. Or Trespasser; have you looked at that one? Your life meter is a tattoo on your left tit, to check to see how close you are to dying you have to look down at your cleavage. Talk about puerile, degrading game design.... But I digress. We’re embracing puerile, degrading game design.
+3 if you agree that you must speak in a falsetto, with a lisp, or in some other embarrassing fashion while playing ViolenceTM, so long as you continue playing this character. Or how about this one: You agree to maintain a ratio between non-obscenities and obscenities of no less than three to one, that is, one out of every three words used while speaking as your character must be an obscenity . Like “Fuck you, you fucking pussy-whipped shithead” The use of an obscenity as an infix transforms the modified word into an obscenity for the purpose of this rule, e.g., “in-fuckin-credible” is treated as an obscenity.
[When calculating police harassment likelihood:] +1 per black or Hispanic character (who are inherently likelier to be fucked with because, well, welcome to America)
[Basic skills section:] Driving: If you’re feeling generous and the campaign is set somewhere other than New York or Boston, that is, in a city where cars are necessary for survival, you could give them this skill at a reasonable level (say 10) for free. In a civilized city with reasonable public transport, they’ll have to use some of their initial skill points, because you can get along just fine without a car. And don’t make them make skill rolls for normal, everyday driving. Any idiot can stop at a red light (although knowing our PCs, they probably won’t). [I just like the "civilized city" comment.]
Yeah, it cracks me up... the sad thing is, I could see myself playing this game, just as a joke. Although it might be fun to do some real gaming someday... (sigh)
